To me this saying means that in spite of what society thinks we should have, our background and mistakes; whatever God sees fit for us will be ours as long as we want it/work for it. In the midst of going through setbacks I often wonder if people say it so much that its become just a saying without any real belief behind it. A few weeks ago God used an interesting way to reveal my lack of faith.
Since I’m trying to get adjusted to my post graduate life I am not ready to take on a relationship, but there is a certain guy that I’m interested in from a distance. One day I said my usual “he’s dope, but I know he wouldn’t be interested in me”. God began to explain that I always tell Him that I refuse to settle and that I want a man that I’m physically attracted to, faithful, a world changer, funny and more. After praying I question if such a man exists and every time that I come across a man that fits what I’m looking for I always feel like he’s too good for me. I think to myself he would never date me because I’m a plain Jane, my success isn’t as large and dope as his or whatever else I can think of.
Initially I didn’t see an issue with this, because at least I wasn’t being one of those people asking for someone amazing and then not being amazing in return. Then God let me know that there is a thin line between trying to reciprocate what you’re asking for and a lack of faith. I felt that I couldn’t have certain things in life because I always labeled them as unreachable to me. That man is too fine/good to be mine. That opportunity is too amazing to happen to me. I believe the amazing things in life can bypass me while also believing that bad things will more than likely happen. That’s why I reason that such a man wouldn’t want me before even trying. It’s a way of saving myself the disappointment.
You have to believe when you’re praying because God pays attention to actions. In order to help me build my faith I have been saying this daily affirmation. It has really helped change my mood and I’ve been going after tons of things with more confidence. The opportunities that I don’t get I try to not be too sad about and remind myself that the things that God has for me won’t pass me by. I’m still not ready to date, but I am also changing in that area, because with the attitude I had before it wouldn’t surprise me if I fell into settling. I also noticed that if I’m not walking around self defeated I’m acting like “pick me, pick me”. And I have to realize that I don’t have to do all of that, because God has already chosen me. It’s still hard to feel worthy of a good man at the moment. That has more to do with me being jobless and without my own place more than anything.
I know that the setbacks that I am going through are all temporary. I want to get this mindset down while I don’t have things going the way I want them so that when I do get the things I want I won’t attribute them to materialistic things, but to the fact that God saw me fit for them. It also can be difficult to believe that whatever has meant for me will be mine when people put stipulations on me, but I can’t worry about other people. God isn’t going to hold up my blessings because my hair is kinky, I don’t like to wear makeup or how different my family’s purposes are from mine. God has great plans for me and it’s about time that I stopped counting myself out and started believing it.