There has been an ongoing debate on my Facebook feed about what doing your 20s the right way looks like. I’ve read tons of rants about how singles should stop hoeing around or how lonely we are. I’ve seen posts of young parents claiming the only reason why some of us don’t have children is due to an abortion or being too ugly. I’ve also read post from singles claiming that getting married or having a child is like kick balling your freedom out of the window.

If you allow social media to suck you in, you might be confused as to which path you ought to be on. One moment you’re scrolling and you see a beautiful couple has just gotten engaged. You’re looking at her shinny ring and her fine soon to be husband and wondering why you haven’t/didn’t find one for yourself in college. Another moment you see a young sexy single travelling the world and getting paid good money to do what she loves. Then you get motivated to chase after your own dreams and do the same.

In this debate we must learn everyone path looks different and is customized just to fit your destiny. I feel like I should accomplish certain things before becoming a wife or mother. I don’t doubt that married people can do some of the same things that singles can, but you have to consult someone. Even the most understanding of spouses might not be in a position to agree to move the family just because you woke up with the urge to do so. I’ve spent my whole life having to consult someone and as a result I’ve missed out on a lot. I’m not even sure exactly what I like to do for fun since I always needed the okay from someone else first. I want to be secure in who I am as a whole person, before submitting to someone. As for kids, I’ve always wanted to have a child within a marriage and even then I prefer for him/her to be planned. Babies are a huge responsibility and I personally don’t want to be placed in a position where I’m forced to deal with that under surprise circumstances.

Comparing your life to others is a dangerous game. Seeing pictures of my peers getting married does make me question if my life is on the right path at times. After I am reminded of the path that God has me on at the moment I realize that now would truly be a bad time for me to be married. The level that I’m on right now God needs for me to deal with me and me alone. There are freedoms in marriage and there are freedom in being single. Yes, there are sacrifices to be made on both ends. Neither path is right or wrong. It’s all about timing. Make peace with your lane and stay on it. Once you make peace with it you won’t be tempted to compare or allow others to make you feel some type of way for not living how they expect you to live. As long as you’re following God’s directions it doesn’t matter if you end up still single at 22 or older or married.

One thought on “Young and Married or Single ? How Do I Live My 20s ?

  • Kenya

    I swear social media makes people believe they are an authority on everyone else’s life, which is utterly ridiculous. Glad to see you’ve found some resolve about what to do with YOUR life. As someone who is no longer in her 20s, I look back and think WTF was I stressing about? You are so right about not comparing your life to others because we do a major disservice to ourselves by thinking that what someone else has will automatically fulfill us. Great post!

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